WHAT CAN WE DO? Domestic Violence Prevention

In my first Blog Post I wrote about children witnessing domestic violence in their homes. The research I used discussed there being various outcomes for children in homes where violence is being observed, one outcome being the child having issues with affect regulation.Due to the inconsistency and under or overexposure of certain emotions, the child is not able to predict their caregivers response. In my second blog post, I covered the topic of children being involved in the violent acts towards the other caregiver.I learned that using children is a strategic act done by the abusing parent to gain control over the other parent. By doing this the abusing parent is requiring the child to change their role in the family and become seen as of higher standing than their parent being abused. After doing this research, I wanted to know how the parent-child relationship evolves once the abusing parent is removed. I also made a plan to look into research on how as a community we can help prevent or intervene in homes children are witnessing, involved, and or being used in domestically violent relationship among caregivers.

For this post I will be covering how as a community we can help with education and prevention strategies. In the article Preventing violence in Relationships: Psychological Science Addressing Complex Social issues, Wolfe informed the reader on the importance of educating the community on the effects of being exposed to domestic violence. Wolfe (2015) began the article discussing a case about a 15 year old that had lived in a home where domestic violence was occurring, who then attempted to murder his stepfather in response. In that case, law enforcement had made many contacts at their residence, yet did not take action; the teen ended up deciding to put a stop to the violence he was being exposed to himself. At School, he had shown behavior issues and appeared to be depressed, got involved in drug and alcohol, yet no one intervened before he was at the point where the violence was too much and he had no skills on how to cope with it.

Prevention methods taken with the teen population as stated by Wolfe (2005) need to  do more than telling child not to engage in violent acts or to encourage other to do the same. Wolfe says that we need to take things a step further and equip the teens with coping strategies and also teaching them about healthy relationships. By telling the teens not to hit one another does nothing, because we then are neglecting to provide them with an  others ways to channel their emotions. We also are failing these children because we should trying to learn the amount of violence the child has been exposed to and also if the violence has impacted the child’s life in any way. Although he did not cover this, Validation is also important, because  by doing so we are acknowledging to the  adolescent that we care,  and that it is normal to be angry,sad, or want to hurt the person that has hurt someone you love, BUT there are other ways to deal with what has happened to you or someone you care about.

Responding a healthy way is important, but what is a teen to do when  they don't know other ways to respond to violence?This article states that due to “statistics on violence, substance use, and high risk sexual behavior among adolescents” this population needs prevention and intervention to be addressed in a holistic way. Adolescents being exposed to violence would benefit from being “[assistance] in navigating during transitional periods” which is why it is imperative they are equipped with ways they are to cope with the outcomes of violent exposure in their homes (Wolfe, p. 46, 2015). Although many adolescents may be opposed to being helped through transitional periods such their mother's new boyfriend hitting her, many of them are willing to be helped and supported through that time in their life. I  am concerned for the children being around violence in their home regardless of their age, because I understand that  each age group, gender,  and ethnic group will respond to violence differently. We all interpret violence differently and subsequently respond to it naturally.  Due to my line of work, I  have seen many teens get involved and being harmed or try harming the abusing parent and landing themselves with juvenile offenses that very well could have been avoided. I hope with education, support and involvement with teens, we can help them cope with violence in a health and non-destructive way. By doing this I believe the outcomes of adolescents responding violently, having high risk sexual behavior and using controlled substances will decrease.

What I enjoyed most about this article was that it focused a lot on the social issues. In the scenario from this article of the 15 year old child that lived in a chaotic home, the violence affected him and it went unnoticed. The article reports this child had been showing a decline in school performance, motivation, interest and in return started engaging in self destructing behaviors (early drug and alcohol use). The teachers assumed being distant and uninterested had become part of his personality and given his age, I understand how one many draw that conclusion.  What the school had not realized is that engaging in the drugs and alcohol and  his behaviors problems were the methods he chose to deal with what was going on around him. Adolescents in my experience don't tend to reach out to people  and say I am  because of X  I am dealing with Y and then ask for assistance. As agents for change, our duty is to take action once we recognize negative family conditions, in an effort to respond before it is too late. 

Understanding the cause of violence in homes

1. Relationships define the context and support of violence.
2. Violence does not affect everyone the same {Women, Children and minority groups are more at risk}.
3. Violence in relationships is part of societal and cultural norms that have gone unchallenged over many generations.

     (Wolfe, 2005)




                    Below is a  Domestic Violence Prevention  Video Titled "Its Ends Where it begins"

With this all being said, do you know what you should do? My call to action is that we as helping professionals"...empower youth to identify the critical issues  they face  and the solutions that are most meaningful to the reality of their lives and circumstances". -David A Wolfe


Click here for Information on National Hotlines for Domestic Violence & Resources

                                            Works Cited

Wolfe, D. A. (2006). Preventing violence in relationships: Psychological science addressing complex social issues. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie Canadienne, 47(1), 44-50. doi:10.1037/h0087043

Children Involved in Domestic Violence With Parents

                                                              

My thoughts on this issue....
I believe children witnessing domestic violence are at risk for being harmed. When it comes to smaller children, they tend to be at risk because they are unable to move out of the way when their caregiver become physically aggressive. This does not me that in all cases of domestic violence that the adults are physically violent with one another, but physical violence is very common among other things like financial control and isolation. School aged kids are more aware of what is going on and can respond verbally when they notice one caregiver yelling at another, hitting or threatening to hit the other parent. School aged children  tend to  say things like "don't do that"  or will respond by crying. I have noticed in cases where there are children 10-17 in the home witnessing domestic violence they intervene or attempt to stop one parent from harming the other. There are also time where they will call 911 or get another adult involved.  I am concerned about children intervening and being involved in domestic violence regardless of their age, they are all vulnerable  and can be harmed as a result.  I have also noticed that in some domestic violence cases I have had that some children and begin to be targeted by physical aggression  because they have in the past tried to stop the aggressive parent.  There are also times when the child is being used to assert power, control and violence towards the other caregiver. Children should never be put in a position where they have to intervene or be forced to become involved in domestic violence. Education and advocacy is key to this issue.

Now The Research....
In the article Abusive Men's use of Children to control their Partners and Ex-partners, the author discussed many ways children are  put in a position where they are told to become involved in the power and control dynamic of their parent's relationship. Beeble (2007)  noted that the use of children is a strategy used  because most women are closely bonded with their children, and the abuser is aware of how loyal the mother is to her child, and also to what great lengths she would go for the child.  In this article there was a study done on women that were not currently in a domestic abuse crisis but reported having previous history  with a partner who exhibited power and control characteristics. One hundred sixty families, out of that sample 41% of the mother's assailant or attacker was the biological father to the child(ren) (Beeble, et al., 2007). This study was to measure the amount of  reported physical abuse, emotional abuse, and the use of the child in domestic crimes. The results showed  a high correlation with physical acts, but I was more interested in the information found regarding children being used to control the mother.  In this study "88% of women reported their "attacker" used their children to  control them in various ways and to varying degrees" (Beeble, et al., 2007).

Results of the Extent of the Attacker's Use of the Child

         The report from the mothers who were in domestic violence relationships.

• 70%: An effort on the father's behalf to stay in her life.
• 69%: To keep track of them.
• 58%: To harass them.
• 58%: To intimidate them.
• 47%: Children were turned against them.
• 45% Their children were used to convince the mother to take the father back.

          (Beebler, et, al., 2007)

The results of this study were slightly shocking. Based on these findings, it is evident that children are used in many ways be the abusing parent to get the other parent to do things. these children are being used in many different ways and for various purposes (Beeble, et. al, 2007). The relationship between the abuser and the child is close for the purposes of manipulating the other parent. This manipulation often occurs during custody battles and when either parent ends up in a new relationship. The problem here, as stated by Beeble (2007) is by using the children as a tool to get something from one parent or to manipulate them, can cause emotional distress for the child. The child is presented with the decision to essentially be aligned with one parent and not the other. By asking a child to do this, one is requiring that the child take on more of an authoritative role (Beebler, 2007).

This article suggested further research on  the issues that come with using a child in a relationship with domestic violence. By having more research on this, I believe that we as a society will have more information as to appropriate ways to intervene and how to educate the children and the adults involved. I also believe there need to be research done on  how to restructure the parent and child relationship after the abuser is no longer using the child against the parent being used.  I would like to know what is needed to help the abused parent  back to being able to be an authoritative figure to the child and for the child to stop demonstrating the behaviors they were taught to use on their abused parent.

Below is a video of a 911 call placed by a child that appears to be 4-5years old telling the operator to send the police to their home because the parents are fighting and the father "put red marks on [his] mommy" . Warning: This video may evoke a high emotional response from viewer.

                              Click here for Tips for Children Involved in Domestic Violence.

Beeble, M. L., Bybee, D., & Sullivan, C. M. (2007). Abusive men's use of children to control their partners and ex-partners. European Psychologist, 12(1), 54-61. doi:10.1027/1016-9040.12.1.54

Children Witnessing/ Exposed to Domestic Violence at Home

Children are vulnerable to domestic violence in their home as they are unable to shield themselves from the violence. Infants, toddlers, and children with disabilities or delays are even more vulnerable to being in the presence of domestic violence within their home. In my role as an Investigator of Child abuse and Neglect I notice a common theme of parents not being aware of the cause and effect relationship between the violence between the adults and the direct and or indirect outcomes for the children witnessing it. My observations with the families that I work with who have dynamics that mirror domestic violence led me to research on the outcomes for children witnessing domestic violence in their home.

According to Kennedy et al (2010) these children in homes where violence is being observed, experience feelings of fear and they also feel threatened. Feeling of fear is a natural response to when one is feeling as though what is presented to them is a threatening.  My concern with the children witnessing the violence and not being shielded from it is the possible problems they may face in the future as a result.  In the article The impact of Family and Community Violence on Children’s Depression Trajectories: Examining The Interactions of  Violence Exposure, Family Social support and Gender , the authors listed “affect regulation and heightened self-blame” as a result of violence exposure to children (Kennedy et al, 2010). This suggests that the children will have difficulties with affect regulation because some emotions are over exposed while others are underexposed to them.  In the cycle of domestic violence, I know there are periods when the batters show anger and frustration, then in the honey moon phase they demonstrate emotions such remorse and sadness. The issue here is that the children are not able to predict their caregiver's emotional response as they fluctuate. The next outcome that Kennedy made reference to was the child feeling a sense of heightened self-blame. These children believe that they did something to cause the violence in their home, while in my opinion they shouldn't feel that way. It should be noted, the “child’s perceived level of threat and self-blame have been identified as key predictors of internalizing problems” (Kennedy et al., 2015). This article makes it clear that each child responds to emotions they view differently and unless the child perceives the violence around them as a threat then the violence won’t have a long term effect on their development; they won’t internalize it. (Kennedy et al., 2010).

In this article a study was done on 160 families, 100 of which had children in the home over eight years of age. The sample of participants came from domestic violence shelters and all participants started this study once they had decided to leave the facility. Questions given to the children were about if they had ever heard the adults yell, call names, threaten to hurt one another, or saw them hurt one another (Kennedy et al., 2010).  The results showed a correlation of “0.78-0.92” which means these children saw or heard these things more than four times in a given week (Kennedy et al, 2010). The study’s purpose was to see the correlation between the violence witnessed, family support and depression.  The findings were interesting, yet not shocking. Children “can be buffered by the effects of violence by family support, particularly from mother” and “children who reported higher initial support had lower depression levels” (Kennedy et al., 2010).  From a community psychology standpoint, I understand the importance of one’s relationship with the community around them. Our systems (micro , meso,  exo, macro, and chrono) play a important role in our development; support within those systems lead to better outcomes. On a micro level, children witnessing domestic violence are affected by the violence attached to the relationships the adults in their home have. While at the macro level there are laws in place that serve to protect those being harmed and to punish those who are causing harm to the other individual. The most important take away message in this article is the importance of family support while dealing with the after math of domestic violence in a child’s home. I know that going forward I am going to begin encouraging the families that I work with to be a resource for one another as research suggest the support piece is crucial to one not internalizing the violence later on in their stages of development.  

 Click Link to See Effects of DV on Children

Kennedy, A. C., Bybee, D., Sullivan, C. M., & Greeson, M. (2010). The impact of family and community  violence on children’s depression trajectories: Examining the interactions of violence exposure, family social support, and gender. Journal Of Family Psychology,(2), 197-207. doi:10.1037/a0018787

 

It really annoys me when people act like they are listening when they are not.  It is so frustrating because it is rude and if they really don't have the time to listen to someone or if they simply don't care, they should just be honest.It sucks for the person who are voicing how they feel about a certain topic and the person they are speaking to could care less.  For me it is easy to tell when people are not listening when you stop talking and they keep saying "yeah, youre right" {".  I just wish  people would be more honest and upfront instead of playing like they care.

 

Click here to see Why People May Ignore you!